The Lost Season Finale

May 29, 2008 · Filed Under Sam's Stuff

You know, I feel like a battered spouse in this relationship, Lost. I keep crawling back to you, because you really do have something good under that crusty, drunken exterior.

Unfortunately, i don’t think anyone’s ever going to get to see it. Because just when it comes time for you to apologize, to make good on all your promises, you puke all over my shoes and drop your bottle of Night Train on the front steps.

Look, I’m tired of what we’ve got going on, Lost. It’s a good thing for you that I can see the end of the tunnel from here. So I’m going to watch you rot yourself from the inside out, and we’ll take this last long ride together. And when it’s all over, I’ll go through a couple of months of self-loathing, and then I’ll get over it and move on.

But you just keep your crappy cousins away from the house. One of you is enough.

More seriously though, can it really get any worse for Lost? Now they have to go back to the Island to play the ‘what really happened’ game again? Dudes, we haven’t even finished our first game of guess the plot, now we have to work it going forward and backward?

Pfeh. A pox on your houses, Lost writers.