How to Make a Custom Wetsuit
Because of Thing 3′s weird pool-related allergies, extreme measures may be necessary. Here’s the contingency plan.
Step One. Dress victim subject in close fitting long underwear or pajamas and socks.
Step Two. Cut short strips of duct tape..safety scissors are a must! Use colored tape if you are feeling feisty.
Step Three. Wrap tape strips around small portions of the body, slightly overlapping edges. Remove as each section is complete, cutting through all layers of tape and clothing. If subject panics..take a break. Calling 911 with a duct taped kid is not cool.
Step Four. Once all sections are taped and removed, heal all seams by applying duct tape in both directions to restore the full body length. Step back and admire your handiwork.
Step Five. Cut down center back and sew in long outerwear zipper. VOILA! DIY wetsuit.
Step Six. (optional) If subject refuses to wear your newfangled wetsuit, fill with industrial insulating foam and seal all remaining openings with additional duct tape. You now have a humanoid floatation device to keep you company in the pool. (Please remove after use to avoid late night heart attacks when mistaking it for a dead body floating in the pool)
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