The air conditioning kicked on this morning, and immediately made an exciting new noise. Kind of a zrrrrooooOOOOOWWWWWMPHissssssssssss. Then it spat smoke and gas, and kept right on hissing for twenty minutes while flash-freezing everything in a 10-foot radius.

“Wow,” says we, “that was kind of fucked up right there.”

Kim does some research - “Sounds like we need more freon,” says she. “Sweet,” says I.

Then I get some lunch for the Things and ourselves, sit down and have a hearty repast of fast food. It’s hot in the house, it’s hot outside, we’re none too pleased. But it will all be over soon.

I decide to call and find out exactly where the heck my motorcycle is - because, I was promised, they SWORE, it would be ready to go today. Guess who is not riding a motorcycle?

That’s right, me. When will it be ready? Monday? No. Tuesday? No. Wednesday? Maybe. But then again, maybe not. Insult to injury - same place that sold me my bike is now having a $300 off every bike in the shop sale.

So I fire off an angry email and wait for the air conditioning man to arrive.

He arrives. He looks at the AC unit and shakes his head sadly. “This,” he says in his best funereal tone, “is not good.”

And in the back of my mind I hear two words, “You’re. Fucked.”

Indeed, I am. My options are not good - the compressor unit has fused its terminals, leaving behind what looks like the wreckage of a Terminator sent back from the future to assrape my 4th of July Weekend.

I can replace the compressor - but whatever caused it to immolate itself may just happen again. I can replace the air conditioner for $3700 or $4700, or I can gut the entire system in my house and replace it for $12,000. These choices, they are awesome.

Right now, we’re in the midst of the $4700 repair. Later, I’ll be drinking heavily and trying to figure out where to get five grand. Anyone want a kidney, in reasonably good shape?

00:00 Theme music - makes you tingly.
00:15 Welcome to episode 200-1.
00:50 Call us - 206-339-7482
00:55 Email us - rwtyshow@gmail.com
01:00 Plurk Kim - she has now karma. rwtyKim.
01:45 Check out current sponsor and look for a new sponsor on show 200.
02:00 Will Kim take money from pr0n sponsor? We will see.
02:30 A band email.
03:30 A message to band directors of the world.
04:30 Oh, I see, when YOU have vacation, you’re not to be disturbed.
05:30 Parades are not real popular in Texas.
06:15 We watch fireworks from our backyard, usually.
07:00 This is a cost saving measure that sucks.
08:00 An Independence Day celebration with a BIG star.
09:00 A marching band song that is just played out.
09:20 Kim is a puss about fireworks. And so are the Things.
09:45 Kim’s idea of a big firework is a snake.
11:15 Loverboy, what happened to you?
12:10 Kim remembers lots of stuff from when we first started dating.
14:00 Fourth of July of the past.
15:00 Abandonment issues.
16:00 MyGallons.com - check it out.
16:50 This business venture is kind of iffy, in our opinion.
17:50 Our research skills are kind of lacking.
18:15 Even hookers need gas.
18:50 Rural brothels - kinda creepy.
19:10 Prepare for a story that Kim did not expect Sam to tell.
19:45 Sometimes, when you’re young, you go to hotels that are just nasty.
20:50 And now there’s one less nasty hotel in the world.
21:40 People in Missouri can be easy to trick.
22:40 Maybe this guy WAS a master of disguise.
23:45 Or a meth-head.
24:10 People need to learn to question authority more often.
24:45 Sam plans to infiltrate the Masons.
25:45 The Shriners - weird or cool?
26:45 Do you know the moonies?
27:15 Kim did not throw up during the past two episodes: that is awesome.
27:30 If you have a cure for menstrual migraines, you know, send us an email: rwtyshow@gmail.com
28:30 Call us: 206-339-7482
28:45 Don’t forget to vote for us at podcastalley.com.
2936 Seeya!

00:00 Theme music - it makes your heart sing!
00:18 Welcome to episode 200-2.
00:30 Number 200 will not be as fancy as you think.
00:50 Was Kim unspeakably rude?
01:30 What happened before is not the issue.
02:15 Exactly, if I can’t hear me, you can’t hear me.
02:30 Call us - 206.339.7482
02:40 Email us - rwtyshow@gmail.com
03:10 Thing 3’s birthday.
03:45 The hazards of giving kids an ipod.
04:40 Thing 2 finishes games too fast.
05:20 Thing 3 gets a sewing machine for her birthday - welcome to the sweatshop, kid.
07:10 Coming soon - a Thing 3 boutique.
08:30 A kinda goofy milestone.
10:00 Thing 3’s baby tooth will not give it up.
11:00 We think Thing 3 just wants to hang onto it.
11:45 The tooth chart in our house is useless because our kids are mutants.
12:30 Parents, be frugal with the Tooth Fairy money.
13:30 A tooth collection is kinda nasty.

14:30 Lack of belief = lack of money.
15:30 Schools determine who goes to your party.
16:00 Why you don’t want your enemies at your party.
18:00 How Sam will combat school policies that are stupid.
19:00 Kim gets inexplicably disgusting. Sadly, she was right about the cow ass.
19:45 How to get credit for cursing.
20:30 Is this really how far the schools have fallen?
21:15 A live caller commits douchebaggery.
22:00 Texting while driving.
22:35 Sometimes you can’t stop, but calling for emergency help would be good.
23:30 Kim is the worst texter in the world.
23:50 Kim sneezes.
25:00 Why would this be illegal?
25:20 A quick review of Crash.
25:50 Kim’s reaction to boobies - explosive and not in a good way.
26:45 Kim’s definition of abuse is a little extreme.
27:45 Trying to offend Sam is hard.
28:35 Call us - 206.339.7482
28:40 Email us - rwtyshow@gmail.com
29:00 Kim is plurking - rwtyKim
29:30 Well, now we’re not number 1. WTF?
30:20 Seeya!

00:00 Theme music.
00:18 Sam implodes.
00:45 Check out Armchair Kid Nation - it’s pretty cool.
01:20 This is the best show title ever - Kim couldn’t even deny it.
01:55 And then Sam takes it too far.
02:25 Call us - 206.339.7482.
02:30 Email us - rwtyshow@gmail.com.
03:00 Watching TV in the RWTY Household.
03:30 These Japanese game shows are wacky. Like American Gladiator only different.
04:00 Wipeout is fun. Watch it.
06:00 The way to win Wipeout is just to keep going, no matter what.
07:00 I Survived a Japanese Game Show is kinda meh.
08:00 Solitary 3.0. This will be the most awesome ever.
09:00 Hurl - dumbest show ever.
09:45 The puke paradox.
11:00 The Jesus Slab.

11:45 Jesus is, indeed, pumpin’.
13:10 The crappiest week ever.
13:30 Sam has to work far too much.
14:30 But he gets to ride his motorcycle, right?
16:00 No, indeed, Sam does not get to ride his motorcycle.
18:30 Sam almost gives into Road Rage.
20:30 The Two Cories. It’s pretty awesome for a train wreck.
22:20 There are some things you shouldn’t joke about.
23:30 It was only simulated pumpins.
24:00 A behind-the-scenes look at RWTY.
24:20 Fat dude burns down house.
25:30 Who knew you could even deep-fry a pork steak?
26:45 What kind of douche wants to enforce this law?
27:15 Kim is nervous about just how this law will be enforced.
28:10 You really want a robot made out of ice?
29:40 A tip for politicians.
31:20 Don’t forget to call - 206.339.7482
31:45 Don’t forget to email - rwtyshow@gmail.com
32:00 And check out our sponsor at our site.
33:14 Seeya!

00:00 Theme music. Just because
00:25 Sam teases episode 0197.
00:35 Call us - 206-339-7482
01:00 Email us: rwtyshow@gmail.com.
01:20 When did art become porn?
01:40 Check out our sponsor and save 50% on your first month.
02:00 Kim’s voodoo slams Sam.
02:30 The electric bill is insane.
03:00 Summertime is when the electric bills just cram you.
04:00 In Texas, raining does not lower the temperature.
04:30 In the rat house, we also had to deal with cockroach invasions anytime it rained.

05:00 Weird bugs in the pool at night.
05:20 We believe we have solved Thing 3’s problems with the pool.
06:00 We found it the next day, but it had to be destroyed because it was so weird.
06:30 Watching Verminators will upset your world.
07:00 Sam replaces a dimmer switch.
07:30 And succeeds.
08:30 In record time, but Kim still loses the auction.
09:00 The Baby Borrowers - finally something really good on television.
10:00 Some of the Baby Borrowers were terrible with kids.
10:30 And these kids had it easy compared to real life.
11:30 Most of the real moms were kinda bitchy and didn’t really help.
12:30 Some of the teens flipped out for no real reason.
13:30 Some of the teen guys actually got a glimpse of a very dark future with their girlfriend.
14:00 We give Baby Borrowers a thumbs up.
14:30 Thing 1 wants to go out on a solo date. We disagree.
15:00 Here’s our solution for the solo date.
16:00 All of our best parenting ideas actually come from the Brady Bunch.
16:45 The good old days.
17:45 Finding out you were already married - priceless.
18:35 Marriages should have an expiration date.
19:45 No one knows the truth about our marriage.
20:20 Why is this illegal?
20:40 This tattoo detail was necessary why?
21:50 Again - do we really need to stop hassling the pros?
22:20 The time savings here is really pretty incredible.
23:00 Kim buzzkill . . . incoming.
24:00 Oppressed peoples don’t normally make a lot of money.
24:30 Oh, look, whores on eBay.
25:00 Don’t bring your kids into this mess, lady.
26:10 And those pictures are pretty deceptive.
27:30 Kim gives this lady way too much credit.
29:00 Sam gets slammed for being gross by the chat room.
29:20 Special warning - the Tuesday show this week will be at 1:00PM CT.
31:00 Call us: 206-339-7482
31:10 Email us - rwtyshow@gmail.com
31:40 Vote for us at podcastalley.com. And then again, tomorrow.
32:00 Seeya!

00:00 Theme music - it’s hot.
00:25 So is the coffee Kim tried to kill me with.
00:50 Sam has no motorcycle, thanks, bank.
01:25 Don’t taunt Sam, don’t.
02:00 Don’t forget to join us live. Also, pay attention to the show, because things may change before long.
02:45 Television networks, please don’t play the same show a thousand times a day.
03:30 Thing 3 can sing a song after hearing it only one time. It’s amazing.
04:30 Sam plots a way to make millions.
05:00 Does High School Musical make kids grow up too fast?
06:30 Girls fight - it’s what they do.
08:00 Kim was a naive child.
08:45 Maybe our kids are not as smart as we thought.
09:40 Math for the dumb.
10:10 Thing 2 scares herself.
12:00 Thing 2 is scared of butterflies.
13:00 Sam has no motorcycle, because banks suck.
14:00 Small banks seem friendly, but are often incompetent and stupid.
15:30 The perils of a non-local bank.
16:00 A money-saving tip we don’t really recommend.
17:20 This is so disgusting.
18:20 This will cause a near-instantaneous divorce.
19:30 Google this if you want to lose your job.
20:45 Fear my Spanish Bayonet!
23:30 Sam looks for a new cohost.
24:10 Check - horde.arewethereyetpodcast.com for the video of the palm robber.
24:30 Don’t rob the kids.
25:00 You are not tough if you’re robbing lemonade stands.
25:40 Sam teases a new feature.
26:30 Kim throws down what makes a man.
27:30 Sell your life on eBay.
28:30 This is really pretty brave.
30:00 Sam offends Australia.
33:30 Seeya!

00:00 The theme music that rocks your world.
00:20 The pain, the pain is too intense for words, almost.
00:50 Call us!
01:00 You’re really missing out if you don’t listen to the show live.
02:10 Don’t forget to give the blog of the month a little love from our listeners.
02:20 Sam begins with a retraction. Sort of.
03:40 It is, in fact the same
04:30 We remain steadfastly opposed to the goat-headed boy.
05:10 The hideous pain that Sam has to deal with.
07:00 Kim’s suggestion for helping Sam’s sunburn just created massive pain.
08:30 Look, acid on my face is not cool. I don’t care what kind of acid it is.
09:30 Sam is terrified of when this will end. Probably cancer of some sort.
10:00 A home remedy from the chat room that sounds like it would be intensely painful.
10:30 Everyone in the house is harshing Sam’s motorcycle buzz.
10:45 A Thing 3 allergy update.
11:00 If your skin doesn’t touch the water, how could you have an allergic reaction to said water?
12:50 Trying on the wetsuit was an adventure in itself.
14:20 Not really a big fan of salespeople who work on commission.
15:00 The experiment seems to have worked - Thing 3 seems to have no rash at all.
16:00 Proof that Thing 3 psychs herself out.
17:00 Maybe we’ll switch to a saltwater pool. I’m sure that’s reasonably priced.
17:00 Where to hide your camera.
18:10 Things we don’t want you to do when you’re listening to the show.
19:00 Thongs gone wild.
21:20 Maybe the store needs to approve items for your purchase.
22:00 Don’t be rude when trying on clothes.
22:45 A scared straight program that seems a little over the top.
23:45 A bad idea on so many levels.
24:30 An American Gladiator moment.
25:30 Sorry for the short show, Sam is a puss.
26:10 Don’t forget to call us!
27:00 Kim thinks this is all a stress reaction.
27:10 Send your cures to Sam - rwtyshow@gmail.com
28:20 Seeya!

00:00 Theme music - better than a sharp stick in the eye.
00:17 Welcome to the show.
00:40 Call us - 206.339.7482!
01:00 The pre-show, intermission show, and post-show is only available to live listeners.
01:25 This is actually taking a little longer to happen than Sam would like. Stupid bank.
01:50 Kim demands that Sam have safety gear, but he is not allowed to spend money on it.
02:45 Sam hates the the Thrift Store. It sucks.
03:15 Nice and thrift store don’t often go together.
03:45 For once, Kim is proud of Sam. But this time only.
04:15 Kim can’t remember the cartoons.
04:40 Sam goes to his first motorcycle training class.
04:50 Sam practices riding a bicycle. He does not like it.
06:00 A lot of people at this class were looking to escape high gas prices.
06:30 Why husbands and wives shouldn’t take classes together.
07:20 Motorcycles - more complicated than you would think.
08:20 Bathrooms in close quarters to classroom. Not a good idea.
09;30 When adults hold their pee too long.
10:30 Is this a girl thing? Aggienole says no.
11:20 Things you should never do if you are riding a motorcycle.
12:40 Sam versus the DMV.
13:00 Guess what, no English books for you.
14:00 Is there a lawsuit in this?
15:15 Kim, please learn when it’s time to talk.
16:00 When bad people get good things.
17:50 If this guy’s wife is smart, she’ll get out while the getting’s good.
18:30 These girls are soooo dumb.
19:00 Even if you want to get pregnant, a homeless dude is probably not going to make a good father.
19:40 Here’s why in-school daycare is a terrible idea.
20:20 Baby Borrowers - this should be mandatory for all teens.
22:00 Also, the guy pushing birth control to this district was fired for doing that.
24:00 We reminisce about what would happen if Kim had been a teen mother.
24:35 The Kim law.
25:30 Kim doesn’t believe that men cry for real.
27:00 What would happen if Barak Obama cried on the campaign trail?
27:20 A strange political diversion.
28:45 Voicemail from Shawn.
29:20 Kim messes up the cramming.
30:10 Please go back to using code words only, ladies.
30:50 A new segment that might help some of you.
31:10 Call us - 206.339.7482
31:20 Email us - rwtyshow@gmail.com
31:25 Don’t forget to vote for us at podcastalley!
32:00 Seeya!

00:00 Theme music - it makes your heart sing.
00:15 Welcome to the show! If you’re at the live show, you get to hear the pre-show.
00:50 Call us! 206.339.7482.
01:30 Kim doesn’t really accept any blame at all. For instance, she forgot to turn the fan off on this episode.
02:00 I am Legend, not as bad as people said.
02:30 Thing 1 needs cooking school. Like really bad.
02:45 You would think if you had to cook at your job, you wouldn’t suck at it so bad.
03:30 We think it’s because she’s kind of lazy.
04:30 Soup from a can - not that hard.
05:00 Half + half = ?
06:15 Strange things our listeners have done.
06:30 We have to come up with a way to help Thing 1 pull it together.
07:00 Oh, we’re wrong. Being pretty fixes everything.
08:10 Sam was gone for the whole day. Thing 1 had to deal with getting to work on her own.
09:10 Cab rides are not cheap.
09:45 Thing 1 has to take a loan out to pay for her cab ride.
10:30 Thing 1 loses her loan.
11:30 Kim has more money, because she hordes it for the day she runs away.
11:45 Sam blames himself for Thing 1’s forgetfulness.
13:00 Cleaning the garage - not for the faint of heart.
13:45 Most of the stuff out there was kind of useless.
15:00 Freecycling can be painful.
16:20 You show up for dinner?
17:20 Kids + bean bag chairs = no fun for anyone.
18:30 Just don’t be a doucebag if you miss out on freecycle.

20:30 Kim collects stuff that is awful. AWFUL.

21:10 Check the site for Kim’s flauxm recipe.

22:00 Wedding dresses made out of toilet paper? Sure, why not.
23:00 One benefit of paper clothes.
23:45 Look - let’s lay off using powerful science tools for our pets.
24:20 I’m telling you, if you get renegade cloned dogs running around, I am not helping you.
25:00 We would not clone our hootardog.
25:45 Cloning is not really all that well understood.
26:30 The one case in which Sam will support cloning.
27:00 Keep your toys clean, people.
27:45 Frankenvag for the win.
27:50 Could you live with only 100 things?
28:40 Some people doing this have a pretty liberal definition of ‘an item.’
29:30 Sam looks at his shelves.
30:00 Even hoboes have more than 100 things.
30:30 Sam’s plan might be better.
31:20 Clutter does rot your mind.
32:30 A screenwriting update - writing done, editing in progress.
33:30 Voice mail from Jenn.
34:30 A very good point about why some people don’t breastfeed.
35:40 We tease show 193.
35:45 Send us your recycling stories: 206.339.7482.
37:20 Seeya!

Ingredients

* 2 tsp. borax (available in laundry aisle at your grocery store)
* 1/2 cup water
* 1/4 cup white glue (we used Elmer’s)
* 1/4 cup water
* food coloring (otherwise it will look like cottage cheese)
* an air-tight plastic bag (for mixing and storage)
* 5/3 cups of polystyrene beads (we used 2/3 cups micro-beads and 1 cup bean bag filler)

Flauxm is made with polystyrene (aka Styrofoam™) beads ranging in size from about 1 mm to 1/8 inch in diameter. You can make an approximation of the beads at home by grating polystyrene cups, packing material etc., although we did not try this. We bought two different types of beads:

* Micro-beads (about 1 mm in diameter), which we found at WalMart.
* 1/8″ beads, sometimes called “milk bottle filler” or “bean bag filler”, which we bought on EBay.

Instructions

1. Dissolve 2 tsp. borax completely in 1/2 cup (4 oz.) water. Set aside.
2. In a separate bowl mix 1/4 cup (2 oz.) white glue and 1/4 cup (2 oz.) water. Optionally add food coloring.
3. Pour the glue solution into the air-tight bag. Then add 3 tbsp. (9 tsp.) of the borax/water solution to the glue solution. Do not mix them yet. You will have some borax/water solution left for another batch.
4. Add the polystyrene beads.
5. Seal bag and knead by hand until thoroughly mixed. Let stand about 15 minutes, and then knead a few minutes more.

This should produce a hard clay well suited for sculpting; for a more malleable clay, use fewer beads and optionally less of the borax solution.