Episode 0157 – Monkey Business
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In this episode: The monkey returns; listener email; Kim the bakestress; the Fearsome Foursome redux; wandering toddlers; an unexpected invitation; a little background check; drug tests gone wrong; more crazy Mormons.
00:00 Theme music – grows hair in your ears.
00:17 Fear the monkey!
00:40 Monkeys like to be smacked.
01:00 The giant squirt gun is almost ready to be unpacked for the summer.
01:25 Kim strikes a deal.
01:50 That’s correct, you set a new download record for the show.
02:10 Listener email from an unexpected source.
02:40 We don’t mean to make you cringe.
03:30 This is true – young boys are filthy creatures.
04:00 Allison is right in this case. Kim agrees, but it’s hard for the dad.
04:30 This trip for Thing 1 really is the tipping point.
05:00 The problem isn’t Thing 1, it’s other kids.
05:30 These teenage boys in Dallas look like yetis with their stupid hair.
06:20 Sam had his own style – Kim doesn’t remember it that way. Because she sucks.
06:45 Kim goes way over the line.
07:30 Kim’s new job – bakestress.
08:00 The school nurse brings on the opportunity.
08:15 Dirty nurses – a staple of sexy-time movies for years.
09:15 Kim’s business model is . . . odd.
10:10 Kim benefits from a slow economy.
10:40 Kim craps on Sam’s fun.
11:20 Crazy kids can be fun to make fun of.
11:40 Sam’s heart is now broken.
12:20 A simple request.
13:10 Why this bothered Sam so much.
13:50 How Sam sees the world.
14:20 A story that should make everyone angry.
15:00 Well, at least she had a dog to help her cross the street.
15:30 Of course, now the kid has made it Kim’s problem.
16:00 The horrible fate of Thing Zero.
16:30 This would have just been strange.
17:20 The invitation that we can never let Thing 3 accept.
17:45 A little background on Too Tight Man.
18:45 How to broach the truth to your child.
19:15 We aren’t the only ones to react with shock and horror.
19:40 We really don’t want Too Tight in the house. At all. Ever.
20:00 A little roleplaying.
20:45 Why having kids from weird families to your own home can produce bad results.
21:45 What would we do if this happened? We aren’t really sure.
22:00 The saga will continue – we’re just not sure how.
22:30 Maybe they should have checked this BEFORE issuing licenses.
23:45 People should really be held responsible for this
24:00 In the ages of the interwebs, you would think this stuff would not happen.
25:20 Worst. Drug. Test. Ever.
26:00 Maybe it’s just tap water.
26:30 Hey, kid. Back off my stash.
27:00 More news from the Yearning for Zion Child Abuse Ranch.
27:40 Against the wall, with all of them.
28:40 We can’t accept all religions, people. We really can’t.
29:00 And I know, it’s tenets. I mispronunciated. Thank you.
30:00 Legal ramblings from Sam – honestly, you probably shouldn’t even listen to this part. It’s kind of crazy talk.
31:00 We need to start ending with a more uplifting story. Sorry, folks.
31:40 You guys know when we’re happy. You know.
32:00 Thank you so much for listening – and tell a friend. Or ten.
33:00 Don’t forget you can save 50% off your first month your first month at blockbuster.com.
33:40 Seeya!
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