Episode 0139 – Spring Broke
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On today’s show: Kim’s spring break horror; Thing 2’s meltdown; hiding from your kids; Easter and the candy disaster; busted Barbie; stripper danger; sexy straws; Jericho; mutation update; the cut-off game.
00:00 Theme music.
00:17 Welcome to Spring Broke.
00:30 Kim is not enjoying her spring break.
01:00 Don’t forget, people of foreign lands, we need your help.
01:35 Sam got sued one time. It sucked.
01:50 Stay tuned for the mutation update.
02:10 What is the deal with the holiday/vacation/special event + PMS stuff?
02:45 Guys, do you get this silly story, too? Because I don’t think I’m the catalyst for this crap.
03:30 Thing 2 is not as grown up as she wants us to believe.
03:40 Look, PG13 doesn’t mean you get to see it just because you’re 13.
04:25 When Thing 2 melts down, it’s really scary.
05:10 Yes, we did a home diagnosis on this. Whatever.
05:30 Honestly, it looked just like this.
06:00 How Kim hides from the kids.
06:10 How other people hide from their kids.
06:43 Kim and Thing 3 need to work on staying away from each other.
06:55 The big surprise for Kim.
07:25 Kim’s dream vacation.
07:45 Man on a Stick Day! Woot!
08:05 Candy!
08:20 The worst Easter candy.
08:40 What is with maple candy?
08:50 Poor kid chocolate bunnies.
09:15 What Jesus wanted for Easter.
09:45 Hiding the candy from the kids – and ruining it.
10:40 Pictures that Kim has promised to post.
10:50 Kim displays her ignorance of her religion’s holidays.
11:10 Busted Barbie.
11:40 Kidmail.
12:00 Kim reads a Kidmail example.
12:50 Kim has not yet Made it Work.
13:15 Barbie cannot be X-rated. She lacks the requisite parts.
14:05 Stripper danger!
14:45 How Sam tricked Kim into acting like a stripper.
15:10 Kim would totally understand.
15:35 Against the elbow?
16:25 Kim pees on another perfectly good idea.
16:45 The escalating scandals of the NY/NJ area.
17:00 Sometimes, being a whore really does pay.
17:20 What this girl would have to do for a million dollars.
18:00 Government dudes get all the chicks. And some of the dudes.
18:50 Kim draws the line about what constitutes gay.
20:00 The next logical step in sex scandals.
20:30 Things you don’t want in your kids’ mouths.
21:20 A challenge for Kim.
21:45 How to scar your kids.
22:00 This is not the fault of just guys.
22:55 Why we hate the TV networks.
23:45 Jericho was good. Thanks for not watching, you guys.
24:00 You must watch Dexter.
24:45 Mutation update!
25:40 The new $5 bill. WTF?
26:15 Sam goes completely off-topic.
26:45 Don’t forget to vote!
27:30 Sam ponders making a category change.
28:05 If this makes you cranky, then you may want to check your stuff.
28:30 The dangers of playing the cut-off game.
29:00 Hand sanitizer isn’t that dangerous.
29:55 Seeya!
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