1. Stump fuckers (hadn’t heard that one before, bravo)
2. Plunger rape (thank you Jim Rome)

I feel your pain. My daughter’s elementary school does the PTA meeting thing to us every year at the spring show. It is such a rip off. i actually booed last year when they started announcing the officers for the next year, except for my neighbor, and after my wife elbowed me. Even the kids let out a gasp of dismay when the parents started taking over. Most of the parents in attendance are not members of the PTA but they held us captive in the elementary school cafetorium sitting in kid chairs with younger and older siblings screaming throuhgout. UGHHH!!!

But really, you and Kim ( from what I can tell listening to the show) are truly a match made in heaven (or a one horse town in nowhere land). You both have great values and common sense, something that is not so common anymore. I am really glad that you guys decided to share that by podcasting. Besides if Kim did not have you she would have to learn the podcasting equipment on her own.

Shawn (smd1)

She’s learned a valuable lesson, albeit the hard way…and I’m sure that once school starts with the return to routine and all the mini-dramas that accompany the school year, things will get easier and start to feel a little more ‘normal’.

take care x

And by normal, I mean we only have to worry about the kids killing each other, someone getting bitten by a spider, and/or a minor revolt amongst the children.

On the other hand, I was a perfect child and never did such a thing. Honest. Mostly.

And how would you get MRSA in your lungs? Now I’m curious.

We find it cuts down on the number of people asking us about our kids. Really, you don’t want to hear about them, and we don’t want to then listen to tales about your disgusting little monkeymen.

I am glad that this hard lesson only cost her discomfort and not her life. Hang in there guys! You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

MRSA, OTOH, is a horrible thing - I deal with it at work on a daily basis. just imagine what it does to your lungs if it makes skin look like that !

Just wondering.

Also, I think Sam is right — new pee is more likely to be less bacteria ridden than a bottle of pee that has been sitting in the hot sun. Frankly, the automakers should make, for a nominal fee, a pee seat that has a receptacle for the penis which diverts the urine discretely on to the road to dry quickly in the hot Texas sun — or melt the snow on the cold Ohio roads. Save gas. Save salt. Save time. I’m not sure what the gals will do, though — maybe a diva seat.

Lots of love & hugs, one parent to two others.

And next time, CALL ME.

This is my biggest nightmare… being somewhere I know I’m not supposed to be, with someone I know I’m not supposed to be with, and getting in an accident, thus getting caught! Yikes!!!

Second nightmare: my family members, injured in car accidents! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Good Luck with this
Shawn (smd1)

That bike is sure turning to be a big pain in the butt…hope you can actually get it someday.

mommybee

Works for me.

BTW: careful of the road-hog mouth pumpins’ — ya don’t want the skid marks ON your new bike. Carry paper towels.

I kind of like the movie, but was so hoping for something really, really scary. I haven’t seen a good scary movie in a long time. Have you guys seen The Ruins?

I’m not really that popular for either site anyway:)

Great show, I just finnished listening today, because no Saturday but great just the same.
And thanks for the Whiskey in my sippy cup blog link. She is to funny, a great look at the truer side of parenting.

Shawn

PS I like the new look

Shawn

Random question - my husband bought me a sewing machine - but I don’t know how to use it and have been trying to find a place on line to teach myself…any suggestions?
(By the way - I absolutely love the show!)

Sona

“Honey, don’t worry, I finished the dishes for you!”

“Changed that light bulb in the bathroom.”

“Got the kids ready for bed.”

“Wanna start a podcast?”

However, I do believe that much of what you say does apply to adults. Here in Miami, where there is more Spanish rather than English being spoken, you see adults that put forth no effort whatsoever. They don’t have to. Everything form store signs to store employees all speak Spanish. Unlike the children, who are surrounded by English speaking peers and who so desperately want to fit in, they create their own little “Spanish” world. They work with Spanish speakers, their friends are all immigrants as well, they watch Spanish soaps all day, etc…

This is not the case with kids. You really have to believe this. I see kids get made fun of because they can’t speak English, or because they have an accent. I have students that want to stay after class to speak English to me and when I ask them “why me?” they respond “because you don’t laugh at me.” They are desperate to learn and they usually do. On the rare occasion that a child is in the ELL program longer than is usually expected, we later come to find that the child has a learning disability that the whole time was being attributed to a lack of language acquisition. So, the child had not learned because he was a “hoo-tard” (God I love that word!) and not because he wanted to coast through school speaking Spanish (ha-ha)

Are students really “forced” to take Spanish in Texas? Now, that I have a huge problem with. I think it’s great that it is being offered, especially with our huge influx of Hispanic immigrants. However, I never agree with a student being “forced” to take something that is not included in their core curriculum.

Keep up the great work!

TC

Our issue is that the local schools have made it possible, and even very easy, for Spanish-speaking students to make it through their entire school career and never have to learn English. Related to this, some of the schools have made it mandatory for English speakers to learn Spanish in order to be able to communicate with their Spanish-speaking peers.

That’s not good, in any way. It’s not good for the English-speaking students who have to communicate in the language of another country. It’s also not good for the Spanish-speaking students who have no incentive, and therefore little desire, to learn to speak a language that will enable them to better pursue their dreams in America.

While it’s true that Kim and I aren’t in the school as teachers, we are heavily involved in the day-to-day activities in the school system and have seen, firsthand, the damage that excessive coddling of non-English speaking students can cause to all concerned.

Having what amounts to two curricula and two sets of textbooks is taxing on school districts that are already so strapped for cash they can’t afford paper and pencils for the teachers. Allowing that to continue from Kindergarten through high school is a crippling expense.

While your points about what it is like to be a non-native speaker are well-taken, it’s also important to realize that there MUST be an incentive to learn the language, and this is currently not the case, at least in your area.

It sounds like we have two really different situations. In your area, you’re exposed to a lot of kids who want to learn English, and the school system is doing a good job in promoting this skill’s importance to the community. We envy this, because the same is not true in our area.

Here, from what we can see, the opposite is true. The schools don’t really care if the kids learn English. In fact, the dirty little secret around here is that ESL (English as a Second Language) kids are worth proportionately more to schools than English-speaking students, thanks to the way that tax dollars are apportioned.

As a result, the community doesn’t really see the need to promote English as a language to learn – if you could get all the way through school in your native language, would you really stretch yourself to learn a second language? As you so rightly point out, these kids don’t necessarily have a lot of extra time and the tools to make this sort of scholarship easy for them.

Again, we really do appreciate your comments and heartily agree with you that teaching English to those who do not speak it should be a very big priority in school. We just don’t think it should continue as a viable secondary instruction track throughout the entire school career.

Had you been referring to only adult immigrants coming to this country and refusing to learn English, I would have totally understood and agreed. However, you made references to immigrant children not wanting to learn English and the fact that they are in ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) classes for way to long. With all due respect, you are not in the classroom and therefore, you have no idea what you’re talking about.

These children are eager and actually DESPERATE to learn the language. However, not all students learn at the same pace. They also do not have the resources at home. They have non-English speaking parents that although we would love for them to all magically learn English overnight, the reality is that language acquisition takes time. Imagine moving to China. That’s all. Just IMAGINE moving to China right now and people becoming angry because Thing 3 has been in Chinese language classes for way too long and she should know Chinese by now! Then imagine Thing 3 being accused of not wanting to learn the language because of course, there’s nothing a child loves more than being totally different from everyone else and not fitting in. Yeah, kids love being the odd man out at school. They love being in special classes because they can’t keep up…. It’s AWESOME! Add to this the fact that both you and Kim are working to makes ends meet and don’t have the language skills as of yet to help her at home. It’s not easy guys and as a teacher, I see the struggles these people go through everyday. I see children cringe when asked to speak in English because they are ashamed of their accent. They didn’t ask to come to this country; it was their parents choice and they are adjusting as best they can.

Oh, and I would LOVE for all the paperwork sent home with important information to be in Chinese, despite the fact that in my little hypothetical scenario, half the population in China are American immigrants! How fun and fair for you!

Now, on the other hand, I agree that it is ridiculous when people have been in this country for years and years and don’t speak a lick of English. I don’t agree with that and yes, it infuriates me. It infuriates me to the point that although I am a fluent Spanish speaker, I will sometimes REFUSE to speak Spanish to many Hispanics that I know damn well should at least understand what the hell I’m saying. But when it comes to kids, it’s a different story all together.

In reference to Spanish classes in school, children are not obligated in any way, shape, or form to take Spanish (at least not in our school district) and if they choose not to, they are not “ostracized” by being sent to the library. What the hell else are we suppose to do? In my case, if I have one or two kids that don’t take Spanish, I allow them to visit the library, read silently, catch up on any classwork they haven’t finished, work on the computer, start on their homework, etc…

The reason Spanish in offered more than other language is because guess what? There are more Hispanics in the US then there are French, Italians, Germans, etc… so crazy us, in an effort to better prepare students for what they will most likely encounter in the real world, we offer Spanish starting in at the elementary level.

Oh, and have you picked up a newspaper lately and looked at the classifieds? Most jobs when asking for a bilingual applicant prefer for the second language to be Spanish. Thing 1 will have a lot more doors open for her because of her Spanish acquisition. It’s just a fact. Like it or not. Good for her and good for Kim for having encouraged her to do so!

I know this sounds like an angry e-mail, but its not! You guys are awesome but I just had to comment on the whole Spanish / English thing. So awesome are you both, that aside from teaching elementary school, I also teach undergraduate courses for education majors at the university and I have encouraged my students to listen to your podcasts for some laughs and insights on parents & children!! I encourage them to vote for you as well!!

Hey guys, have you ever considered home schooling?

Loyal Listner,
Teacher Chick!

Sam… picture me giving you two thumbs up, man?

I’m sad to admit that my wife has this Redbook issue and that I’ve read this article. (It was in the bathroom.) Ok, I know - Too Much Information.

Love you guys
Sona
Monkey Butt Stew.

This might be of interest… maybe:
http://camoosta.com/content/5-dangerous-things-you-should-let-your-kids-do-gever-tulley

isn’t it awesome that your kids are beloved by their classmates and get all those annoying calls!?! They certainly owe that to your wonderful care for them!

Florian

Ah, now I have someone to race on my way to Hollywood stardom. Watch your back, Geoff, watch your back.

Seriously though, I’ve got a bunch of SomaCow episodes queued up in my iPod now for my work-time pain numbing.

It’s true about us hot people having more daughters. We actually talked about this waaaaay back in Episode 0018: Let’s Talk about Sex. At about 7:45 into that episode, we expound on this politically incorrect truth.

I also read an article recently that blue-eyed people have more kids. Since I have really blue eyes, and I’m totally hot, I support science’s assertion’s 100%.

did you know, that the more attractive a couple is, the higher its the likelihood for them having daughters (and not sons)… ?

Isn’t that interesting?

Take Care!

Florian

I think I am beating you. My screenplay is 3 percent done and flying. I have drawn all the circles in my plot outline, and am merely a few characters, actions, events, and resolutions away from a story.

School nurses are the second most useless individuals on the planet. They receive children with every ailment from skinned knee to tuberculosis; from ADHD to chicken pox, and on and on and on. Their panacea for all these medical maladies? Band Aid. Maybe some Hydrogen Peroxide, if no one is looking. They should just have a phone, with a post-it note stating, “Call your mom”. Far more effective.

Dallas sounds like Bartertown. I am always amazed that people knowingly live in Texas. I just don’t know how that happens.

Why are they feeding kids for math? Are they trying to grow fat engineers?

Taking smart kids’ sundaes and giving them to the stupid children will teach the smarties a valuable lesson. The American Tax System is designed to punish winners. Better to learn early than to be all shocked when your kid earns their first million.

I like the way you guys do your blogs. The sometimes witty, sometimes informational timestamp bullets are a good reference during the listen. We’re totally stealing it! As soon as we can find someone capable of listening to our show.

“We like to “meet” listeners during the live show but not all the time.”

OK, Mute not meet. We were a little sad now we are not so sad.

have you thought about vaccinating your girls against HPV (and so against cervical cancer)?

It is strongly recommended in the USA!

For information have a look at this page :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gardasil

See you!

Florian

Thanks again and enjoy the show!

In episode 59 you asked about who went and downloaded all the whole bunch of old episodes. I am afraid that would be me.

My first chance listening to you was episode 51 - absolutely loved it. Played it the second time to my wife.

This is the best thing I have found that helps me cope with the terrible Washington DC commutes.